The Colbert Conquest

For everyone waiting on the edge of their seats, here is the story of my first handshake with Stephen Colbert:

As you have recently read, I posted a letter to Stephen Colbert letting him know that I was coming on his show, and that I was bringing him an Angry Dwarf Sandwich.

And then yesterday, I went with my cousins to The Colbert Report. After a long wait on line, we finally got into the studio, where we happened to be sitting in the first row: front and center.
This was exciting for two reasons:
1) I was sitting in the front row of The Colbert Report
2) Stephen Colbert high fives everyone in the front row as he runs out onto the set.

When Stephen came out to answer a few questions from the audience, I shot up, and I was the first person he called on. I made some jokes like I had been trying to get in touch with him to tell him I was coming, and we bantered for a few moments. I then told him I had brought him an Angry Dwarf sandwich- at which point we whipped out the sandwich and Stephen exclaimed, 'Oh it's you!?' recognizing my cousin from his local deli. He turned towards the audience and said, "It's my deli guy!" And then he makes my now mortified cousin tell everyone what is in the sandwich that makes it so awesome. He sent some guy to pick up the sandwich, and then came over to thank us for coming and shook our hands.

During the break, some guy came up to us and asked us our names. I was hoping for a shout out on the show, but instead I found out that it was just for security purposes. Obviously Stephen Colbert gets a lot of poisonous sandwiches, so they have to be careful.

At the end of the show, Stephen walks down the front row and shakes everyone's hands but he lingered by us to say, "Seriously great to see you, thanks for coming! Be seeing you later."

When it was over, I left one folded up copy of my resume on my seat. Other than that, I didn't pitch myself at all, no mention of 'Here is a sandwich, now HIRE ME', no stalking, no pestering, and the clean up people probably just threw out the folded up paper on my seat.

Still though, I shook hands with Stephen Colbert, twice. He has heard my name.

And I also followed up by sending the show the following email:

Dear Stephen Colbert,

I thoroughly enjoyed your show today! If you have read my blog, you know I want to pester you for a job. You know that I am hilarious, charming, and ambitious. You know I have papered the walls of Jon Stewart's studio with my resume. But instead, for you Stephen, sir, Mr. Colbert, I brought you the Angry Dwarf sandwich from the Watchung Deli. Don't look at it as a bribe. See it more as a gesture of kindness. And as proof that I would make a kickass hell of an assistant.

A lack of response will only convince me more that you are indeed in need of another staff member, even if it is just one in charge of being your personal sandwich maker.

Sincerely,

Ambitious and Funemployed
ambitiousandfunemployed@gmail.com

So folks, don't go away quite yet!
I have got a few more Colbert surprises for you coming up in the next week.
Stay tuned...



**Interesting fact: Stephen Colbert has two wikipedia pages. One for himself, another for his character: Stephen Colbert. Both are linked to in the above post.