Dear Stephen Colbert,
I am coming to sit in the live audience of your show tomorrow. If you have read my blog, you know I want to pester you for a job. You know that I am hilarious, charming, and ambitious. You know I have papered the walls of Jon Stewart's studio with my resume. But instead, for you Stephen, sir, Mr. Colbert, I am bringing you your favorite sandwich from your favorite deli in Montclair, New Jersey. Don't look at it as a bribe. See it more as a gesture of kindness. And as proof that I would make a kickass hell of an assistant.
Sincerely,
Ambitious and Funemployed
ambitiousandfunemployed@gmail.
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