The Big Dipper AND The Little Dipper

So I have been getting a lot of feedback from readers saying that I am reaching too far and expecting too much. Not only have I been qualified for every job I have applied for, but as I’ve responded to one doubting reader, how else am I supposed to eventually land the dream job? While I may be reaching for the stars, I have not zoomed exclusively passed everything else. It just so happens, that in this economy- it seems that only the big names still have any money to pay even minimum wage. Mind you, its minimum wage and nothing else, but at least they provide more than a ‘monthly metro card and lunch’.

Still though, at this point I am open to any experience, even if it means I live in the subway and eat only the middle meal.

On another slow job posting day last winter, I decided to see what I could find in places that weren't necessarily looking to hire. By my reaching out, they might be able to find a spot for me- or at least know how to find me if they ever have a spot. But how to find these places?
In addition to searching New York production companies in Google, I wanted to find a list of actual potential contacts in the media field.
Well, my university didn’t, and still doesn’t, have a film program. But that’s what happens when you go into college as ‘undecided’ and then realize when you have to ‘decide’, that you have decided on something that isn’t offered. No matter for the determined and creative right? I created my own major. But that’s another story. This story is starts off with the thought ‘what might have been’.

I couldn't get too much help from my school, so I tried to think outside the box. What if I had gone to a different school that could help me? Ideally, I supposed, if I had known what I wanted to do when I was applying to schools, I would have applied to NYU. And if I had gotten in and done what I wanted to do, I guess I would have gone to Tisch. There went the light bulb over my head.

I went on the NYU Tisch website. I searched around for a while, until I found a list of places that Tisch students intern and eventually get jobs. I looked up every name and ever company on that list, found their contact email and information, and emailed them my cover letter and resume. While it still hasn’t netted me a job, the names I am continuously adding to my contacts are going to make my little black book quite valuable one day.

CBS Sports: Like a Bite of Dark Chocolate

So I interviewed at CBS Sports. It went well.
I must admit, I am not the biggest sports person. I am originally from St. Louis, so I know more than a thing or two about baseball, and one time I even got to meet Tony La Russa (which was pretty cool). Other than that, I play soccer, basketball, I ran track and cross country, and I even made an attempt at shotput. I was on a swim team for years, and I still love the pool. Oh, and this last semester I took a trampoline class, if that counts for anything.
But still, I did my research, I knew what teams had played that week in various sports, who had won, and what the scores were. I knew which games CBS had covered and which they had not. I knew when each season started, and what CBS's involvement is with each of them.
Besides, the position was for the entry level job as part of the production team. The basic responsibilities were going to be acting as a gopher for the people in charge. Doesn't matter who won the Stanley Cup, I know I can do that, and I know that I can happily do it well.

The interview was going great. It was four executives....and me. There was good conversation, a good repertoire, and lots of information flowing about. I was professional, I was prepared, and I was qualified.
At some point, one of them asked me about my interest in sports. I went with what I know. "I grew up in a baseball house," I said. Which was true. We had an enormous chart outside the front door during the summer of 1998 where we kept count of the race for the Home Run Champion. But still, I must not have been convincing enough because the next question I get is: "What do you think is the best baseball team?"
Not who is your favorite, who do you support, why is that your favorite team, who is at the head of each league right now...... no. Which team is the BEST? But even with that bizarre question, I responded easily. "Well," I said, "I am from St. Louis, and so I'm not really allowed to say anything but the Cardinals."
Still though, they moved on to tennis and basketball, and while my backhand sucks, I can shoot a layup as good as most- but it still wasnt enough to convince them of any die hard sports fanaticism.
So even though the job was for a production position, they wanted someone who was going to be more thrilled about putting Sports on their resume than CBS. At least this time however, we ended on good terms. And by that I mean, they called and told me honestly that they really liked me, I have a great resume and they are certain that I will succeed. However, after a long debate they had to go with someone with greater sports knowledge.
I understood. I thanked him for calling and telling me personally. To which he responded, "I wanted to stay in touch, because after seeing your resume and meeting with you, I am pretty sure I am going to be calling YOU for a favor one day."

A nice bittersweet ending this time.

The Art Of Networking

I follow up with every networking opportunity that I get. I keep my resume in my coat pockets, purse, backpack, and laptop case. I even have some folded up copies in the back pockets of my favorite jeans. You never know where you might meet someone, who might lead you to that next someone, who might have an cousin somewhere, who used to work for someone, who will eventually offer you a job. Or when you bump into that random person on the subway, and it turns out they are the executive producer of Oprah’s show (that hasn’t happened…..yet). How much more memorable and impressive are you when after making that connection, you are able to whip out a copy of your resume right then and there, and exchange it for their business card?

So I’ve got everyone I know on the prowl for connections. My entire extended family, worldwide, has a copy of my resume. Countless relatives of each of my roommates, parents and coworkers of my elementary school classmates, and every previous employer and supervisor of mine have copies with the instructions: forward it like it’s hot.

So about 7 months ago, my aunt tells me she has a friend, and that friend’s neighbor is a big name at CBS Sports. Forward it like it’s hot. I get in touch with the friend, the friend gets in touch with the neighbor, and soon after, I am personally emailing an executive at CBS Sports. He is very nice, and tells me that he is passing along my resume to his coworkers.

Four months later, I get a call for an interview at CBS Sports in New York City.

I also have a cousin who works at the deli where Stephen Colbert buys his lunches. Now if only I can get him to start wrapping those sandwiches in my resume….

My grand plan to infiltrate into 30 Rockefeller Plaza: Late Night with Conan O'Brien

Now this story isn’t nearly as good as some of the others, but like the others, it is all true, and therefore deserves a place on the mantel of weird things to do to get a job.
After I found out about getting tickets for the comedy central shows, I started looking up tickets for other shows as well. I found that for tickets to Late Night with Conan O'Brien, all you had to do was call a hotline. I assumed it would be an automated service, so of course, I called it. Moments later, I was surprised to find myself chatting with the guy on the other end about Conan and Jimmy Fallon, and all the drama going on with that. For my own amusement, I was talking about both Conan and Jimmy on a first name basis, and the guy was full of helpful information.
After I hung up, I quickly launched my plan. I would wait a few days, and then call back- but this time, with different intentions.

The second time when I called, I apologized and said that I was just accidentally transferred there, and I was in the middle of leaving a message for Conan’s booking people. To my shock, he transferred me. More lies and more lies spilled out of my mouth, ‘was just talking to Suzy in HR’ ‘got disconnected from Tim in the booking office’ ‘was trying to leave a message about next weeks bit with Starbucks with the Executive Assistant’ until finally, I left a voicemail on as close as I could get to Conan’s personal machine.

Now, if one got the chance to leave a message for Conan, what would you say? Mine went something like this:

Hi, my name is _____ ______, great show last night (insert specific reference here). I am graduating from college this year and I am looking for a job on your show. I have mailed you my resume and emailed you all of my information. I am just letting you know to look out for me, and to let you know exactly how to reach me. (I left him my cell number and email address.) Thank you for your time and I look forward to being in touch.

At least, I'm pretty sure that is how it went. It is always hard to remember exactly what one says to an answering machine. It all goes by so fast.

Damn you Canceled Daytime Soaps

Lets see, I think I sent out my first job feelers in October, 2008. By November, I was sending like crazy. By December, I had already emailed the entire HBO community. But when did I get my first interview? That wasn't until May 11th. I remember it clearly.....
It was the last official day of my internship at a production company in Silver Spring, Maryland. As I finished up the last of my projects, I saw that lovely little (1) next to the red and white envelope in my minimized gmail window. I opened it up, and there read the subject line: job interview at One Life To Live. Very nonchalant. Well, at that point, I didn't have a clue what One Life to Live was, but I saw 'job' and 'interview', and a quick check at the senders address showed that it had indeed come from someone@abc.com. Very exciting.

A quick forward to my parents made me realize that not only were they also excited, but they could not mask the huge sigh of relief they were feeling even in their typed responses.
Now some of you might be impressed with my achieving such a feat, actually getting an interview at ABC. The rest of you might not care. Still though, to those ever-hopeful-for-themselves readers out there, let me tell you how I got this interview. Because while its true what they say, that it's 'who you know', they don't mention how well you have to know them.

My father is a scientist. Yes, I know, very interesting, but not the point of the story. So my dad is a scientist, and back in February, a scientist from somewhere else in the U.S. came in to visit my father's lab and discuss potentially collaborating on some experiments. This guy came to visit for a few days, and at some point over a nice afternoon of microscopes, my dad happened to mention that I was graduating college and looking for a job in the world of television. Now I think this guy is from somewhere in Colorado, but it turns out that he and his wife lived in New York until about 10 years ago. And what did his wife do in New York? She worked on the soap opera, One Life To Live. So experiments were collaborated, data was shared, hypotheses were made, and resumes were sent around. Without having met me or my father, this woman sent my resume and her recommendation to the staff at One Life to Live, and 3 months later- they email me for an interview.

How nice is that?

Well, I dropped everything (my senior thesis, my last class) and I jumped onto a bus to New York that Wednesday night. I crashed at a friends apartment, laid out my interview suit, and got up at 6 am that morning to give myself plenty of time to prepare. I got there an hour early and sat in a Starbucks around the corner to read all of the information I could print out about ABC, soap opera's, and One Life To Live.

Now while some people might disagree, I am going to fill you in on something I learned from this interview. It is not good to be the first person interviewed for a position. Some people might argue that 'everyone remembers their first' and while perhaps that is true in some cases, I don't think it works to your advantage in the interview process. For starters, the interviewers learn better what they are looking for and what questions to ask after they have met with a few potential employees. When you are the first interviewee, the interviewer is almost practicing on you. It takes them a few tries before they even realize what the important questions to ask are.

Well, I was the first person interviewed for the Associate Producer position for One Life to Live. The senior producer who interviewed me told me that she contacted me when she discovered the opening, but that company policy forces them to also post the position online. She told me that within 24 hours of it appearing on the ABC website, they had over 400 applicants. And of course, since she contacted me beforehand, I was the first interview. Still though, it went well. We had a good repertoire, she was impressed with my resume, she introduced me to other members of the production team, and had me meet with the Human Resources Department.

The day after the interview, I sent thank you emails to all of the people I had met with and the original connection. A few days later, I also mailed out handwritten thank you cards to both my interviewer, and the woman I met with in HR.

And then again, it was waiting time. So now while I was waiting, ever hopeful, something else that I could not have anticipated was working against me. "What could it be?!", you might be asking yourself. Well folks, this is when we started blaming the economy again. But not in the same way that everyone else is blaming everything that sucks in their lives on the government. No, this was just plain bad luck too.

The week after my interview with One Life to Live, ABC's premier soap opera, The Guiding Light, CBS's big soap, was canceled. So guess who took my entry level $25000 contract for the lowest position at One Life To Live? The senior producer from The Guiding Light, who couldn't find another job.

You call it desperate? I call it determined.

One day, I sat down in the back of my class, plugged in my computer, and quickly zoned out the lecture for the day. Instead, I opened up my laptop to start the days search for a job.
However, I realized that since I had last submitted (the day before) there was nothing new posted on craigslist, mediabistro, timewarner, or disney (abc & espn) that were of any relevance to me. Or maybe there were a few, but I took care of applying right away. So there I was, 20 minutes into a three hour lecture that I had already missed, with no interest in jumping in to catch up, and I was stuck without any more places to apply. I had no networking emails to follow up on, no new random email address to send to, no more mailing addresses to find. I thought, this is it, I have exhausted every job searching outlet. Well my friends, that was 6 months ago and I am still finding new ways to send my name (and resume) out into the world.

Take this link for example:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/tfr/1322676002.html

(For those of you too lazy to follow it, I have copied and pasted the post below.)

"Do you and your family have any funny pictures that make you say...what were we thinking when we took this picture? You know, the pictures where you are all wearing a pair of rabbit ears, or one person is making a funny face? Or maybe you have a themed family photo that makes you laugh every time you look at it? A national TV show wants to hear from you. Email us at TalkShowProd@yahoo.com"

Now while this is posted in the tv/film/video/radio job postings on craigslist, they are obviously not looking for someone like me to work on their show and get their first foot in the door of the entertainment industry. So should I send them my resume? Probably not. Can it hurt to send it anyway? Maybe. Will it take more than a minute of my time? No. And yet is there a downside? Not that I can see, but then again, I still don't have a job.
Risks aside, I figure best case scenerio- they call, and worst case scenario- they don't.
But I don't just copy and paste my cover letter and attach my resume. Instead, I start with Hi! My name is ____ ____, and while my family photos can be plenty awkward, I don't think I am the one you want to talk to. Instead, I suggest you talk to some of these people at www.awkwardfamilyphotos.com. I am sure you can find all you need and more on that site. And apart from my expertise in the awkward family photo department.......... and so the pitch (and cover letter) begin.

With all of the real jobs to send to, and all the not really looking for me but send them anyways, I try to send out my resume at least 20 times a day.

I am attacking. World: beware.

Stories Sell Better Than Misery: The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Sometime in my initial survey of the websites of every channel I could think of, I discovered that one could request free tickets to a taping of The Colbert Report and The Daily Show for you and three friends. I requested tickets for both shows and was allotted four tickets to The Daily Show on April 2cnd, 2009 and four tickets to The Colbert Report on April 7th, 2010. (I do still have The Colbert Report Tickets and I have not chosen what friends to take with me, bribes are being taken through mid-October.) As the last week of March rolled around, the friend I had originally planned the day trip up to New York with had to back out for various midterms, and I was still looking for company to drive me up to see Jon Stewart and work some magic.
I happen to have gone to college with a cousin who happens to have a car. So in a moment of brilliance, I recalled how much he enjoys Jon Stewart, hopped over to his apartment, and told him that as a surprise I had gotten us tickets to go up to New York together and see a taping of The Daily Show, provided that he and his car were available for the day. Needless to say, he was thrilled, I invited his roommate along too, and the three of us drove up to meet my fourth friend outside of the studio where Jon tapes his show, daily.
It was only after we had driven through Delaware that I unveiled my scheme to the other passengers. With me I had 40 copies of my cover letter and resume, and 40 blank envelopes. There was no way I was going to be that close to a potential career and not leave my mark. And so, throughout the first 12 exits on the New Jersey turnpike, we stuffed envelopes, and wrote things on the outsides of each in an attempt to persuade any Daily Show employee to even peek inside the unsealed envelope. One envelope shouted: Free Paper Inside! Others were more confusing like: Please Recycle, Just Don’t Recycle This! Some were to appeal to the man himself by writing out his name in Hebrew: Jon Stewart (Imagine in Hebrew Letters). And even others were to catch someone’s attention: Important Information Regarding Jon Stewart’s Biological Father Within. I snuck every one of these 40 envelopes into the studio, left them on some of the seats, taped them to the bottoms of other seats, stuck them in the emergency lighting strips in the aisles, and tucked them into the edges of the mirrors into the bathroom stalls.
While I cannot say that I waited with baited breath for my phone to ring, and Jon Stewart himself to be calling, I did at least expect a shout out in the opening monologue of his following nights episode. I got nothing.
Well, perhaps not nothing. They might have a big red flag in their system next to my name. I guess we'll never know. Unless I ever meet Jon Stewart. In which case I'm going to ask him, "Yo- did you ever get those notes I left in your studio? Even if you didn't need me, why not a 'props for effort' shout out on your show?"

You Turned Down A Job....in this economy?!!?

Now re-read this post's title in Fran Drescher's voice from The Nanny. Better?
It's a work in progress.
Well reader(s?), I dare say it's true. Only, the job was really just an unpaid internship. That they have conveniently retitled: an entry level position.
Which brings me to a point that I have been trying to hold in. Since when is it ok to not pay people for real full time jobs just by calling it an ‘internship’?
Exhibit A**:

“Intern needed for film production and finance company based in New York. Responsibilities include answering phones, writing script coverage, and general office duties. College students or recent grads preferred. The position is unpaid, but hours and dates are flexible.”

First off, I would like to point out that not only do they want someone to come into their office and be their receptionist/gopher bitch, but they want someone to actually apply for the privilege to do it for free. While I would understand if this was a minimum wage job (being as a trained chimp could perform it) to vie for the opportunity is even slightly demeaning. All the more so if you just graduated with a Bachelor's degree, and you have just invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in a college education.

Now I sent my resume to these people. They called immediately for an interview. And why wouldn't they? My resume is awesome, and they aren't going to pay me shit. After some prodding questions, I got them to admit that by 'hours and dates are flexible' they really meant, we can't give you a contract because we can't pay you, but we still want you to verbally commit to working for us a full five days a week.

So even though my semi-supportive parents are not going to let me take a fake job full time, who am I to turn down an interview? Well, my grandfather got wind of this and let me know in a very slow, carefully prepared fashion that ones value to a company, is determined by the amount they pay you. And therefore if I 'interned' for free, I was worth nothing. His words, not mine. Truth be told, I had heard this speech from him every time I had an unpaid internship in college (7 times) and each of those times, I argued with him about 'getting credit' and 'gaining experience'. Although it pains me to admit it, this time he is absolutely 100% right. While I do not think I am worthless, I do feel (quite strongly) that I have paid my unpaid intern debt to society. The things I have done for these internships...but more on that later. And stay tuned- because those stories are go-ood.


**This is not the job I turned down. The job I turned down was an unpaid position at an art gallery. Within 15 minutes of the phone interview, my interviewer offered me the position. How good of an interviewer must I be in order to translate my love for television into a study of visual digital art?

And.... it's down to the Top Ten!

I was prepared. I watched hours of Letterman. I saw him bash Sarah Palin. I saw Sarah Palin bash him. Then there were picketers and press releases. All of it was kind of boring. So most importantly, there were Spidermen and Jamba Juice.
I was ready.
I was set.
I had copies of my cover letter and copies of my resume.
And I had copies of my very own Top Ten list:

The Top Ten List Why I would make a great member of the CBS team:

10. She adapts quickly to new situations, and is a self starter who also works well within a group.
9. She has a hardworking and friendly nature who also comes with a hands on knowledge of working on time dependent show.
8. She is an effective communicator in both a pleasant and professional manner.
7. She has the ability to multitask while maintaining a focus on the big picture and paying special attention to detail.
6. She has completed multiple internships all focusing on production, television, and news related areas.
5. She is up to date with the ins and outs of social networking media and current events, both trivial and significant.
4. She loves to travel, makes a great Oreo cookie cake, and has never missed an episode of How I Met Your Mother.
3. She is willing to go a great length and distance (and move the 871 miles from her hometown to New York) to commit herself fully to this job.
2. She is passionate about starting a career in the media industry and has a constant desire to always go above and beyond.
1. She would love the opportunity to work in the same studio as David Letterman, Paul Schaffer, and the CBS Orchestra!


I aced the interview. I rocked it. At some point the interviewer asked me if I would have any problem public speaking. I said no. She then asked if I would have any problem making announcements to groups of over 200 people. I said no. She must have rephrased the question four more times, each time beginning with, "Will you have any problem....?" Finally I said, "Actually, I might have one problem." She looked thrilled. I continued, "I'm a little on the short side (5'1) and so they might not be able to see me, but give me something to stand on and I'll do just fine." Finally, she laughed. Towards the end of the hour, she told me she wanted to call in some of the other producers to meet me. A good sign. One of them jumped in for a quick minute looking harried and busy. I quickly handed her a packet: Resume, Cover Letter, Top Ten List. She looked at me and said, "Hi, can you give me three reasons why we should choose you?" I said, "I'll do you one better, I'll give you ten. Turn to the last page of your packet." Everyone turned to the last page, and I saw smiles begin to creep up around the room. They got wider and wider and one person actually let out a laugh. The whole room was loving me. Absolutely loving. When she walked me out she said, we are interviewing another 40 or so candidates, but we will be in touch this week. Would you be prepared to start the next day? Without blinking, I answered. "Absolutly."
No matter that I dont live in New York city. No matter that I am crashing on a friends floor with just a little suitcase. No matter that I am going to a close friends wedding that Thursday. No matter that I have tickets to go out of the country for 4 weeks the following week. For Letterman, I would throw it all away.

Still, the fact that I got to keep all of my plans made me feel better when I never heard from them again.

Throw 'em A Bone, Sometimes Persistance Pays Off. STORYTIME!

It's a Thursday morning, it's hot, I am babysitting for some neighbors and trying to get out of being 'all-time-pitcher' for a two on two game of front yard baseball. In the back poacket of my jeans, the 30Rock Theme Song begins to play. Bam bam, ba badada bam bam, ba badada dum... "Hello?" I answer. It's a number I don't recognize. "Hi, my name is J_____ R__ from The Late Show with David Letterman."
Sharp intake of breath. Devil stares towards the kids that let them know they better shut up or there will not be any more baseball for the rest of their lives.
She starts: "Now, I don't know how I got your resume..." (I do, I sent it in the mail to The Late Show with David Letterman addressed to To Whom It May Concern) "...but I was wondering if you would be interested in interviewing for our Page position." (Hell, it's not NBC but I'll take what I can get.) "Are you going to be in the New York area on Monday?" Lucky for both of us, I was. We set up an interview for 12 noon.

You see that readers? All of that ridiculous stalking and mailing kind of paid off.
Stay tuned for what happened next.

Screwed by an Emoticon

I'll do all of you one better.
I needed to get my resume into the right hands. Literally perhaps, the paper into their hands. Perhaps another something that nobody bothers to do. Another thing that makes me unique and individual (and hire-worthy).
Mail. No, I didn't forget the E. I'm talking mail: like stamps and envelopes post office Snail Mail.
So you can guess what I did. I searched for the mailing address to every network, channel, ad agency, casting agency, production company, and tv station.
I printed out about 100 copies of my resume. I printed my cover letter, filling in the individual companies naming before printing. I folded, I stuffed, I stamped. I felt like people must have 15 years ago, when that was actually how one had to apply for a job. With real paper.
And paper cuts.
The sweat and blood, literally blood, that has gone into my job search...

So far, I have mass emailed, I have emailed address that didn't even necessarily exist, I have applied, and I have faxed. Now I also mailed. I think I have proven my persistence.

Email Frenzy (Have I mentioned I'm a Gmail Ninja Master?)

Holy Shit!
Gmail Ninja

And to prove it, addition to linking my posts with hilarity and explanations, I am going to illustrate this one with the use of gmail emoticons. Oh please, hold your applause!

After the HBO mailing, I decided to blindly email where no one might have emailed before . And so, I searched the email addresses for every channel: from NBC to BET, from FX to The Food Network, from Showtime to the CW, from A&E to CNN.

Then I went on and searched every network, production company, news station, talent agency, marketing firm, advertising video department, tv station, casting agency in the New York area for email addresses.

I changed my cover letterto be as particular as possible for each one, and I sent out my resume.
Sent it it like it's hot .

I then went to a seminar on getting a job in this economy. Like it would help me. Or suddenly provide me with the answer. Perhaps a beacon of light would fall over the one email address I really needed to send to, or the answer would be sung to me by ghosts in my sleep (oooooooooooooo marrrryriiich oooooooooooooooo). Needless to say, it did none of the above and I still don't have a job. But they did open my eyes to another outlet. They said, anyone can email in a resume. It comes in as an attachment and unless you really grab their eyes, they are not going to open it. But when was the last time you were in an office? How often does the fax machine ring? Almost never. Who still sends faxes? Find the fax numbers in the office. Fax them your cover letter and resume. And when someone in the office hears the fax ring, theyll think: that's weird, whats this? And when they pick it up , they will be forced to read it to figure out what it is. Then you already have their attention.
You can guess what I did next.
I found the fax numbers. I sent out my cover letter and resume . I faxed like it was hot . (And when the paper spews out the other side, sometimes it is hot .)

Post Graduation Unemployment- The Same Story You've Heard 400 Times Before.

Yea................no.

I am not like all of those other graduates suddenly paying for health insurance and wishing I spent more time reading Obama's health care plan before jumping on his social media bandwagon.
I could complain to you about every conversation I have with any adult which basically embarrasses me, makes me feel small about myself, reminds me that I'll never be a success and basically announces to the world that I desperately need help getting a job.
But instead, I am going to prove to you why I am different. And while I still don't have a job, I blame that entirely on the economy. It is through no fault of my own.
After the NBC Page Program fell through (and don't worry, I have resubmitted and will keep doing so until they give me another chance), I didn't mope around. The difference between me and all these other unemployed Bachelor's degrees, is that I have done everything to make myself, well, I am going to use the word: unique.
In addition to applying for every job on craigslist, mediabistro, media-match, and joining Linkedin- I have done every absurd thing imaginable to get my resume into the right hands.
If there is something I haven't thought of, I encourage you to post it below.
The following is a list of some of the craziest things I have to get my dream job.

I found an email address for an employee at HBO. The email address was Firstname.Lastname at hbo.com. I then googled at hbo.com and found 6 other employee email addresses, all Firstname.Lastname at hbo.com. I then decided to use this formula, and apply it to any HBO employee that I could find. I searched the HBO website, I checked the IMDB pages, I found the name of every crew member on every HBO show. By the end, the list was comprised of hundreds of names, some as normal as Susan.Fletcher at hbo.com, and others stretching to Jeremy.Piven at hbo.com. I am certain I even sent one to Mark.Wahlberg at hbo.com. And at that point, I though, 'what the hell', so I sent one to Ed.Burns at hbo.com, Eddie.Burns at hbo.com, Eddy.Burns at hbo.com, and Edward.Burns at hbo.com.

I sent out hundreds of these emails. For the next hour, my gmail was flooded with responses from Mail Delivery Subsystem:

This is an automatically generated Delivery Status Notification

Delivery to the following recipient failed permanently.

But more than a few of them were real. And a few of those even responded. However, the best they could do was give me the email address for the Human Resources Dept, which is clearly listed on their website.

The Email Screen (NBC Page Program Part II)

Enough with waiting. In real life, I actually waited about 3 months between NBC Page Program and NBC Page Program Part II, but you people in the blog world don’t seem to have time to wait that long.
So instead, watch this.

Now I’ll try to be short, as your attention span is the only thing I’m trying to get right now. My email screen was scheduled, then it had to be rescheduled.

Skip ahead another month. (Warning: This is the same clip you just watched.)

Finally it was set. I was home for winter break. I had my dad at his laptop. Me on one home computer. My mother on the other home computer. My good friend had dropped off HoCho and a muffin. I don’t drink coffee. I was prepared.

The email screen is a list of question sent to you in a document attached to an email, that you have exactly one hour to open, complete, and send back to a specified address.

At exactly 9:30am (the appointed time) I started refreshing my email. Nothing. At 9:35am I started to freak out. I had a sudden idea to check my school email, which I had not used once to communicate with NBC, but was also listed on my resume. Sure enough, the email screen was there. Not only was it there, it was sent at 9am, with the appointed send back by time as 10am. By now it was 9:38. That was only 22 minutes to complete the ‘exam’. After 30 more seconds of freak out, I got to work. My parents researching everything I shouted at them, and me- typing furiously. Similar to the way I am typing now, encouraged by the sheer memory of it.
22 minutes later I sent in my barely half completed email screen. By this point I had already resigned myself to a life of burger flipping. (Not that there is anything wrong with that! :) ) No Brooks Brothers NBC Page jacket for me. I then thought to email the woman who I had been corresponding with at NBC about scheduling my Email Screen. I double checked to make sure it was her mistake first, of course.
I wrote her a very polite but discouraged email, explaining the events of the morning. I then gave myself a break, and went to catch up on that weeks episode of The Office and 30 Rock. As the name Lorne Michaels appeared on the screen, the office theme song ringing loudly from my phone caused me to answer to an HR rep from NBC. She apologized profusely about the mis-communication and asked if I were available to take Email Screen at a later point that day. We then arranged for the screen to happen from 1pm-2pm that afternoon. On a hunch, I asked if the screen would be the same questions as earlier that morning. Her response? “Yes, but don’t worry, well send you a new email.”
Needless to say, I raced back to the computer and worked on those questions for the next three hours, and then throughout the 1 hour of the actual screen time.
So even if my answers weren't the best answers, they were certainly the longest, most researched, best edited, and well written.

What can I say though? The next month I got an email. They didn’t pick me. Not for the next step, not for nothing.
I mean obviously damnit. Or why would I be writing this damn blog?
You shoulda figured that out and not even bothered reading this post.
Dumbass.

Too soon to insult my readers?