How Far Would YOU Go?

I have easily just wasted the past two hours of my life. And by the time I am done with the wasting of time, it will probably be closer to three hours.

I got a call from one of my internships early this afternoon saying, "We could really use some extra help this week." Being as I had already given away all of my daytime hours, I said that I could come into the office in the evenings if they needed help. "Yes please, that would be great!"
And that is how I found myself sitting here in the office at 8:30pm on a Wednesday evening with absolutely nothing to do.

The thing about interning is, often you really are disposable. People you are working for feel overwhelmed, and so they call in the extra help. But then, they have actually nothing for you to do except watch them feel stressed.

So that is how I found myself this Wednesday evening, playing on my computer wishing for a project to do until 10 O'clock at night when I finally thought to myself:
"Have I no self respect?"

I am wasting hours of my life, trying to help someone out for free. They have nothing for me to do. And I am sitting here wasting time on my computer, looking for free tickets to things and losing myself in the vastness of youtube.

Things I am: productive and efficient.
At home I could be watching this youtube clip in my pajamas. Here I have to smile and pretend like I want to be here, feeling helpless.
Things I do not like to be: unproductive and inefficient.

So I went home. The entire process took four hours. I did nothing but refresh my gmail.
All I wanted to do was help.

Is there a college degree that can prepare you for this?

So, I’m about to let you all in on a big secret in my life. I don’t know how to make coffee. I don’t drink it, and I have no idea how to make it. Beans? Filters? Instant? Cream? Milk? Half and Half? I don’t know what’s what. And it all my years of interning (and I’m about to start #7) I have never had to make coffee. I’ve gotten coffee. I’ve written the orders down with all the specifics spelled out for me, I picked up from diners and Starbucks or brought it up from the lobby. I’ve even gone to the kitchen and filled a mug from the giant thermos thing that keeps the coffee hot. But I have never made a pot of coffee.

A few weeks ago, I brought in the guest to the studio, and as usual, I asked, “What can I get you? Water? Coffee? Tea?” And as is most common, I got “Coffee would be great.” So I went into the control room to fill a mug of coffee and I find that the giant thermos thing is out; it just makes a spluttering noise and releases a few drips. Not a problem, Ive gotten out of this mess before. I take the thermos into the kitchen, where there are three other thermos’s ready for taking, and I open them up to pour their coffee into my thermos. To my dismay, the gods of stealing coffee were against me that day, and every thermos was empty. I even went to another floor: no coffee.

And such began my disastrous first attempt at making coffee.

I though, OK, I can do this. It cant be that hard.
I should have known by the sheer amount of time it took me to remove the part that holds the filter that I should just ask someone for help. But I am 23 years old, and I should know how to brew (is it brew?) a pot of coffee at this point in my life. So I dumped out the old filter with its wet caked coffee, and I put a new white doily like filter in. Then I found the drawer with the coffee in it, opened up a bag, and started to shake some in. Here is where I encountered my first dilemma. How much? I guessed just enough to cover the bottom of the filter (for future reference, I discovered that for the team I work with, I should be using 1.5 bags of coffee per thermos). I couldn’t find anything else to do, so I put the thermos underneath and pressed the only thing that looked like a start button. The machine began to gurgle, but nothing was coming out. So I found a flap on top, and used a Styrofoam cup to start pouring in some water. (Mistake.) Waited some more, but nothing seemed to be coming out. Added more water.
Suddenly, coffee began to dribble out into the thermos! Yes! Success! I watched it pour into the thermos and I was feeling pretty smug. Then I realized that the coffee showed no sign of slowing down, but the thermos was just about full. But I held off doing anything about it. I thought, it must go to the top and then stop. It didn't. It just kept going. I grabbed another thermos and shoved it under the still spewing coffee machine. But it still wasn't slowing down. Now my hands are burnt, I am splattered with coffee, and I am pressing every button I can find until I finally follow the cord and unplug the damn thing. Didn't help. Coffee kept coming.
I filled another 4 cups before the coffee finally stopped flowing.

Well, now I had no idea what to do.

I obviously had to ask for help. 'Why didn't I just ask in the first place?!'
Just as I am mopping up the counter wondering if the guest I promised a cup of joe to has forgotten about it, someone walks into the kitchen. I give him an exasperated look that clearly says, Do you know how to work this machine?'
He takes a peek around, and says, "I have no idea how to work anything. I'll get the person who does." A few minutes later, a friendly employee walked in. She smiled and said, this machine is very temperamental, and then proceeded to walk me through the process with that particular coffee maker.

In my own defense, the coffee pot actually does make a thermos and an extra cupful at a time. So even if I had known exactly what I was doing, without fair warning, there still would have been an overflowing mess.

Cocky vs Confident

If there was something you could say in an interview to guarantee you getting the position, you would say it.
Everyone would!
But aside from ‘I will work for free’, what is that thing that is going to make that treacherous interview process a ‘no-brainer’?
Obviously we shouldn’t be giving out this secret phrase to just any old Joe off the street, but (and here is where I shamelessly promote myself) I have a college degree, I did well in school, studied abroad, created my own major, have more than 10 quality internships, I network, I'm responsible, and I'm obviously driven. I have got my shit together. So why do I still not hold the key to that secret phrase all interviewers want to hear?
What do you want to hear from a potential future employee? What can they do to set them apart in a positive light? What makes people say: Lets hire her.
I know there has got to be some one word that everyone wants to hear. I don’t think I'm a bad interviewer, but I am concerned about the whole idea of cocky vs confident. People say, ‘you have to sell yourself in an interview!’. Well, I think I am a good deal! But I also hear that interviewers are turned off by people who think they can do it all.
Let me tell you, future interviewers out there, I have the ability to complete any task. Because if I can’t figure it out, I will ask. I am resourceful, and I know my boundaries. But I will give it my all.
There.
Is that what you want to hear?



**If you watch this video below, please laugh. Who spends the time to make these?**

Thoughts on Child Labor? Keep them to yourself.

Two days ago as I was walking to the building where I babysit (hey, an intern still has make a living), I saw a whole row of giant trucks parked along the street. Before my brain even processed what that meant, my adrenaline started pumping and I started walking faster. An open truck revealed those pieces of lighting equipment that I have come to know so well. Some further investigation netted me the name: Damages. Glenn Close was filming on the block. And by the sheer number of trucks, trailers, and crew members milling about, I knew they weren’t just shooting B-Roll. This was the real thing. I got out 3 copies of my resume…. And well, you have read enough of these stories by now that it’s not even funny or exciting anymore. Woo Hoo, she gave out her resume another 15 times.

WRONG.

This time, resumes in hand, I began walking towards the first important looking person that I saw (not Glenn Close). And then, I froze. My heart just wasn’t in it. What was I going to do? Smile, make some joke, and try to give the guy my resume in the hopes that he will pass it on to someone who might actually follow up with me? That dream is fading. And I have already had this experience more than a few times, so I cant even do it for the good story anymore.
Instead, I had to come up with a new plan.
I continued to the apartment where my little Jack and Jill (names have obviously been changed) were waiting for me to entertain them on such a cold wintry day. And it was there that I hatched my new plan. Something worth re-telling, even if it doesn’t provide me with a check in the empty employed box next to my name.
I took out a handful of resumes from my backpack, and also a stack of Post It’s that I also carry around with me. (I don’t think there is any good reason why I do that.) Together with J & J, we made tons of Post It’s saying things like:

• Hire my nanny so I can spend more time with my mom.
• My babysitter would rather work for you for free than get paid another hour to watch me.
• My babysitter would rather be a PA.
• I’ll miss my nanny if you take her away, but my loss is your gain.
• Hire my Babysitter!
• My nanny will intern for free!

Then we folded up some resumes, put Post It’s on each of them, and ventured outside into the midst of ‘Damages’.
We walked out onto the blocked off street with a purpose. We passed out resumes to various members of the production crew, and then I steered the kids back inside.
Will it work? Probably not.
Did someone get a laugh? I hope so.
Does it make for a unique story? I would venture a yes.

Super Freaky

The life of an intern is neither profitable nor glamorous, but I can’t deny that there are perks when you least expect them. For example: the car service that picks you up at 5am. Your internship pays for it because they want to be sure you make it in on time for the 6am radio show. They don’t tell you its because they are worried you will oversleep. Instead, they make it sound like they are doing you a huge favor, and are concerned for your safety; they don’t want you to risk the dangerous subways and streets of New York at such an ungodly hour.
Better though, is when you show up at the internship, its 5:20am, and you find that instead of the boring morning of coffee making that you groaned about when you pressed snooze on your alarm, that someone exciting is going to be in the studio that morning.
For example, recently as I prepared to pinch myself awake for 4 straight hours, I found that my first job of the morning was to pick up Stephen Dubner.
Stephen Dubner? Yes, you are dumb. You should know who he is. But in case the symbol of a sliced open Apple/Orange doesn’t jog your memory, I will inform you. Stephen Dubner is one of the co-authors of Freakanomics.
I guess the reason that I in particular was super excited about this, is that for a class back in my freshman year of college, I had to write a letter (I forget the assignment exactly) to someone who had had an article published. And I decided to write to Stephen and Steven, the co-authors of Freakanomics. And now I got a chance to talk to the man himself. And he was exactly what one would expect. Flyaway hair, thick rimmed glasses, and forever concerned that his thermos full of coffee was going to spill on his MacBook.
I chatted with him for a bit, and mentioned what an honor it was to meet him, as I had actually once wrote him a letter. He looked at me concerned and said, “Did I not write you back!?” I explained how I had not actually sent the letter, but rather, I just wrote it for an assignment. To which he responded that I should of course send it to him.
At this point in my life I think the letter is a bit silly (especially being as their second book just came out, and they went with an exploding fruit for the cover art) but here goes:

Dear the guys who wrote Freakanomics,

I read your book. I like the way you think. Out of all the statements and all the theories, I like your conclusions on the correlations between legalizing abortion and the drop in crime. For those of you who haven’t read the book, forgive me Stephen Dubner and Steven Levitt, as I butcher your intelligence in a one-line explanation. In the 1970’s, abortion became legalized; and about 16 years later, when all of those unwanted fetuses would have reached the age to become criminals (potentially a reflection of poor parenting from the resentful people who raised them) the crime rate dropped. Coincidence? Maybe. But also- maybe not. I marveled at the gall of such a statement to a nameless friend of mine. His response? That is just a theory; there is no way to test it. Hmmm, am I stupid or something? It’s impossible to test a theory? I pointed this out and we established that the only way to test this theory would be as follows. Step 1: Find a country with a highish crime rate where abortion is illegal. Step 2: Legalize abortion. Step 3: Wait until that year of fetuses hits the age where they would become criminals. Step 4: Observe if the crime rate goes down.

So Stephen, Steven, keep yours ears peeled for a country that you could influence. Test this out. I promise to promote your next book. And I can guarantee that I will buy it. I can’t guarantee that other people will, but I have a theory that another book will do almost as well as the first. Oh, and one last thing! I’ve been thinking about what two fruits would work as your cover art. Besides for an orange, which you already used, there are not many other fruits that distinguishable on the inside. The one I came up with? A watermelon. If on your next book cover you had the shell of a pineapple, with the inner slice revealing watermelon, I think it would be a huge success. I’m going to copyright the image, but for you guys who did me such a favor by testing out the abortion theory in some third world country, I would let you guys use it for free.

Thanks.

I guess the cool thing about all of this, is that I actually got to meet someone that I wrote a hypothetical letter to in a class. How many interns luck out like that?

Why howling at the moon probably won’t get you a job.

This is a story probably unlike one you have ever heard before. And it starts on a typical Tuesday morning. During my internship interview week, I raced about the city taking full advantage of my 30 day unlimited metro card. During that time, I had a few unusual experiences, met a few unusual people, and leaned about a few unusual places to work. But there is one in particular that stands out.
I entered the production company in SoHo whose name I will keep to myself. The whole building was filled with the air of ‘we are hipsters who have money- and we shop at Urban Outfitters’. Still though, those people are cool, and so I was pleased with my surroundings as I sat down in the waiting room after giving the receptionist my name. Once again, I was the first person being interviewed for the position. But this time, I don’t think that had any effect on my getting the job. After a few minutes of waiting, and eavesdropping on the conversations happening all in around me in the office, I surmised that this was the type of place where coworkers are friends- meaning, they all clearly hang out together after work. I’m all for that. Don’t necessarily need it, but hey, creates a great work environment. Finally, I was called in to meet with the head of the production department in a glass conference room in the back of the lobby.
I wish I could draw an actual diagram for you right now, but I guess you will have to use your imaginations.
There were three glass walls to the conference room, and the fourth wall was the exterior wall- it had windows in it looking out onto the street. I sat facing the window, with the glass wall behind me, and behind that- the lobby of the office. My interviewer sat with her back to the window, looking at me and through the glass walls into the lobby behind me.
She started off the interview with the usual going through my resume and explaining the details of the company and the specifics of the position I was applying for. It was when the conversation gets interesting and we talk a little bit about me and how I ended up in her office, that her attention began to drift. I noticed that she was no longer looking at me, but taking long glances over my shoulder until finally, she smiled, waved, and then turned her attention back to me and apologized. She explained that some of her subordinates realized re was interviewing someone new, and were trying to make her laugh by making faces through the glass wall behind me. I chuckled and we laughed about having a fun office and company pranks and the like.
I then continued my spiel about why I was uniquely the perfect person for the job and I realized that I had lost her again. But this time, it was not discreet. She suddenly yelped, squealed with laughter, and ran by my left shoulder out the glass doors and started chasing another mid-30s man around the receptionist’s area beating on him with my rolled up resume.
After another few laps around the reception desk, she panted back into the room laughing. She said, “I probably shouldn’t tell you this, so unprofessional, but well, he just mooned me!” Then it got better. “I was totally in control of myself and ignoring it but then he started doing squats against the glass wall and well, I lost it.”
I went with it. I laughed, showing that I was cool with public nudity, and was totally in for being fun and absurd among office friends. But I had lost her attention completely. So even though I sent her a thank you note making light of the mooning incident, I think that either she was too embarrassed by the episode to actually hire me, or she couldn’t remember anything about me because the image of some man’s hairy buttocks was branded onto her brain.

When It Rains It Pours

About every two months I get a whole slew of emails offering me interviews. I don’t know why it happens in a cycle, but it always does. I wont hear a word from a single company, not a single positive response and usually not a single response at all. Then suddenly in the same week, I’ll get seven emails offering me interviews.
And so the rush begins again! The interview suit comes out, resumes get reprinted by the dozens, and if it were possible, I start getting even less sleep.
To me, interviewing is like craigslist, and craigslist is like a blind date. You absolutely never know who or what you might find on the other side of the door. And any one of those experiences could change your life forever.
Whether the interview be a 15 minute meet and greet, or an hour of resume nit picking, for that time you get a glimpse into the other side of your situation. The employed side. And you get caught up in the moment! You even start to feel important just to be interviewing for these intern positions. And why shouldn’t you? These interviewers are making a sales pitch to you (obviously because they want you to work for free) and trying to convince you that you should be honored to be considered for such an exciting time at their company. And then you get excited, and start selling yourself to them. Here is my resume! Here is what I can do for you!
I guess I am what they call lucky, in that I have actually been offered a variety of internships, and I usually get to choose where I want to devote my hardworking free time to. However, it is a harder decision than it seems. Each of these companies is probably excellent, and sometimes, when you are working for free, it all boils down to convenience. Which office is closest to the train? Which company has the best hours for my schedule? But personally, I think the most important question to weigh is: which company is going to give me the best connections? Which is the one I’ll be able to look back and say, if I hadn’t done that I never would have met _____ which eventually led me to ______ which eventually introduced me to the position I end up finding my self in…. successfully. Sometimes, I think I choose wrong. Other times, its easy to remember why I made the decision I did. But mostly, I can easily see where my first impressions of a place are skewed. It’s easy to get caught up in an interview when the interviewer is presenting their internship as the stepping-stone to your future. But it’s hard to remember how this internship is helping your future when you are making copies and getting coffee.

And so it begins! Let the runaround continue!



Bob, let's see what's behind Door Number 3!

How Wrong Is It To Apply For Internships While You Are At An Internship?

Now, you may have been following me for a while as I search for a job that will make me proud to attend Career Day at the local middle school, or you may have just joined me. But one thing you should realize as you follow my futile attempts at getting a job in this economy, is that I have not been spending my days bemoaning my failure at life. Instead, I want you all to know, that in this interim time between college and first job, I am keeping myself extraordinarily busy. In addition to my three babysitting jobs, and my 3 hours a week freelancing at CBS Sports (that I hopefully start next week) I have four different internships that I am devoting 40 unpaid hours a week towards.
One of these internships is at a production company in midtown Manhattan, in a building that makes me feel important when I walk in 4 days a week. I don’t want to lie- there is something exciting about taking an elevator up to the 20th floor surrounded by important people in suits even when I can wear nice jeans and a sweater to work. At this internship, I am in charge of online promoting for an independent film. I work closely with the Writer/Director/Producer and Associate Producer to make sure we get the word out about the film in order to (as they say) ‘put asses in seats’.
And since I have been posting and blogging and tweeting for their company, the website hits for their film have gone waaaayyyyy up. So yay! I’m doing something well!
But I have realized at this point that in less than a month when the film opens, I will have no more reason to stay at this internship, although I am sure they would be happy to have the free help stay on. So even though I am busy as a bee for the next few weeks, I am already lining things up and applying for my next set of internships. Still assuming, at this point, that a job doesn’t magically work out instead.

Linked In.......To What?

How is LinkedIn supposed to help you get a job?

My friends and I signed up for LinkedIn when we realized that we were entering the professional world, or so we hoped. But after 'friending' all of the people we already knew personally, and the few people we met at our internships that we felt comfortable enough 'join networks' with, we were done.

So I've been asking around. Basically here is what I have surmised. You stalk famous people on LinkedIn. Not famous like the cover of People magazine. More like, the CEO of your dream company. Then, you see if you have any connections, no matter how far they are, and you ask to be introduced. How weird is that?

As far as my experience with LinkedIn goes, I know I am not utilizing it in the right way. I don't think checking the LinkedIn profiles of people I am looking to buy things off craigslist to make sure they are not sketchy classifies as appropriate LinkedIn usage. But I want to use it. I want to be a success story. I can see the headline (of my next blog post) now: Job Seeker Finally Landing Career Through LinkedIn.

If you or someone you know will be in the online area in the next week, and have gotten a job because of your LinkedIn account, we want to hear from you! Please write in!!!

The Big Dipper AND The Little Dipper

So I have been getting a lot of feedback from readers saying that I am reaching too far and expecting too much. Not only have I been qualified for every job I have applied for, but as I’ve responded to one doubting reader, how else am I supposed to eventually land the dream job? While I may be reaching for the stars, I have not zoomed exclusively passed everything else. It just so happens, that in this economy- it seems that only the big names still have any money to pay even minimum wage. Mind you, its minimum wage and nothing else, but at least they provide more than a ‘monthly metro card and lunch’.

Still though, at this point I am open to any experience, even if it means I live in the subway and eat only the middle meal.

On another slow job posting day last winter, I decided to see what I could find in places that weren't necessarily looking to hire. By my reaching out, they might be able to find a spot for me- or at least know how to find me if they ever have a spot. But how to find these places?
In addition to searching New York production companies in Google, I wanted to find a list of actual potential contacts in the media field.
Well, my university didn’t, and still doesn’t, have a film program. But that’s what happens when you go into college as ‘undecided’ and then realize when you have to ‘decide’, that you have decided on something that isn’t offered. No matter for the determined and creative right? I created my own major. But that’s another story. This story is starts off with the thought ‘what might have been’.

I couldn't get too much help from my school, so I tried to think outside the box. What if I had gone to a different school that could help me? Ideally, I supposed, if I had known what I wanted to do when I was applying to schools, I would have applied to NYU. And if I had gotten in and done what I wanted to do, I guess I would have gone to Tisch. There went the light bulb over my head.

I went on the NYU Tisch website. I searched around for a while, until I found a list of places that Tisch students intern and eventually get jobs. I looked up every name and ever company on that list, found their contact email and information, and emailed them my cover letter and resume. While it still hasn’t netted me a job, the names I am continuously adding to my contacts are going to make my little black book quite valuable one day.

You Turned Down A Job....in this economy?!!?

Now re-read this post's title in Fran Drescher's voice from The Nanny. Better?
It's a work in progress.
Well reader(s?), I dare say it's true. Only, the job was really just an unpaid internship. That they have conveniently retitled: an entry level position.
Which brings me to a point that I have been trying to hold in. Since when is it ok to not pay people for real full time jobs just by calling it an ‘internship’?
Exhibit A**:

“Intern needed for film production and finance company based in New York. Responsibilities include answering phones, writing script coverage, and general office duties. College students or recent grads preferred. The position is unpaid, but hours and dates are flexible.”

First off, I would like to point out that not only do they want someone to come into their office and be their receptionist/gopher bitch, but they want someone to actually apply for the privilege to do it for free. While I would understand if this was a minimum wage job (being as a trained chimp could perform it) to vie for the opportunity is even slightly demeaning. All the more so if you just graduated with a Bachelor's degree, and you have just invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in a college education.

Now I sent my resume to these people. They called immediately for an interview. And why wouldn't they? My resume is awesome, and they aren't going to pay me shit. After some prodding questions, I got them to admit that by 'hours and dates are flexible' they really meant, we can't give you a contract because we can't pay you, but we still want you to verbally commit to working for us a full five days a week.

So even though my semi-supportive parents are not going to let me take a fake job full time, who am I to turn down an interview? Well, my grandfather got wind of this and let me know in a very slow, carefully prepared fashion that ones value to a company, is determined by the amount they pay you. And therefore if I 'interned' for free, I was worth nothing. His words, not mine. Truth be told, I had heard this speech from him every time I had an unpaid internship in college (7 times) and each of those times, I argued with him about 'getting credit' and 'gaining experience'. Although it pains me to admit it, this time he is absolutely 100% right. While I do not think I am worthless, I do feel (quite strongly) that I have paid my unpaid intern debt to society. The things I have done for these internships...but more on that later. And stay tuned- because those stories are go-ood.


**This is not the job I turned down. The job I turned down was an unpaid position at an art gallery. Within 15 minutes of the phone interview, my interviewer offered me the position. How good of an interviewer must I be in order to translate my love for television into a study of visual digital art?